Laptop’s fixed!!

August 18, 2010 at 12:16 am | Posted in Uncategorized | 2 Comments
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My laptop is finally fixed! I’m on it right now, hehe. This is like the first time I’ve gone on it all summer lol. I have no idea how I survived…my laptop=my life 😛 anyway, I have some pictures that I can finally upload now!

Last night+this nights dinner…

Spiced Eggplant Couscous

couscous mixed with baby spinach and chopped eggplant cooked in 1 tbsp olive oil

Some pictures of it in the cooking pot…

This was pretty good. I made it with the help of my vegan cookbook, hehe. It’s all gone now though )’: my mom said she liked it ^3^

I saw a different counselor person today, she was pretty nice. I hated that I had to be weighed though…I don’t like other people seeing how much I weigh, I’m really self-conscious about it for some reason and I think that people will judge me based on it. Argh. I just ate some berry flavored froyo, it was yummy! I love ice cream-ish foods, lol. I’m kinda pissed at my mom though. More irritated I guess. Every time we get into a fight she uses ip as a threat and it annoys me so much and makes me feel like a crazy person or something bleh I hate it…ever since going to the hospital she has to talk about it aaaaallll the time it’s like “if you don’t stop arguing with me I’m gonna call the hospital to take you away!!” and it sucks I would much rather just sit down and talk with her and reason with her but of course she just wants to argue and yell and complain all the time with me. She treats me like I’m some crazy fucked up person that needs to be in some crazy house locked up with padded walls and all that shit ugh. And she tells freaking everyone about my “problems” and then tells me she doesn’t and I feel really sort of like she’s invading my privacy lol but seriously it’s my problems if anyone knows about them it should be me who tells them not her. I’m ok with my family knowing but I haven’t even told any but one of my friends about my ed so of course I don’t want random people knowing too. I feel like all this stuff is just making it worse…I don’t even want counseling+help to be honest…

Dinner from a couple nights ago…

Amy’s tofu meal (forgot what it’s called :P), some Greek yogurt, broccoli, and 1 Gardein bbq skewer.

Yeah, I recall this being quite yummy. I just watched the movie The Thing (lmao) with my mom+brother. It was…bad. hahahaha. Well, what do you expect from a movie called The Thing anyway? Eh, it was fun to watch it with them. I also rented the movie Big Fish made by Tim Burton (!!!!) so I’m probably gonna watch that later. I feel kinda sick right now so I think I’m gonna end this and make some tea..hope whoever reads this is having or had a nice day!

xoxo

Emily


Hi

August 16, 2010 at 4:17 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment
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Hello! I haven’t posted in a while..I donno I just kinda feel like writing anything. Nothing particularly interesting has happened in my life (not that I have an interesting life in the first place, anyway) so I didn’t really feel like writing anything. Our “trip” has yet again been postponed to next week. I wouldn’t be surprised if we ended up not even going, lol. Yeah..well I have been reading all the blogs I follow updates (pretty much all the blogs in my blogroll, lol) just haven’t commented. I should probably change that now..yeah well that’s pretty much it, haha. Have a nice (checks calender on computer..) Monday!

xoxo

Emily

I’m freeeeeeee

August 10, 2010 at 4:26 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment
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I just finished all of my French. Like, I don’t have to worry about it or do anymore of it at all. I’m so happy. And my mom is done working too so pretty much everyone in my family is completely free! Well, of course my brother is considering all summer he’s been sleeping till 3 and playing 30248 hours of xbox…I’m pretty sure he hasn’t seen actual nature more than 2 days this summer…*sigh* anyway besides my hermit brother, my mom said that tomorrow were going to drive to the mountains. I have no idea if I should be excited about this or what..I’ve never been to the mountains that we’re going to go to so I guess I’ll just have to wait and see lol. And I just realized that school starts in 2 weeks. I’m sort of happy that I’ll be able to see some of my friends that I haven’t seen all summer but worried+scared about other things..like relapse, lotsa work…more work +_+ it’ll all work out though. I have a pretty unhectic schedule compared to other people..the only outside of school thing I do is taekwondo and then I’ll probably go back to piano as well (I took a break over the summer…agh I’m gonna be horrible when I start up again hahahaha…) so I think it’ll be an ok school year. I just need to make sure I keep eating…I donno, it’s just so easy to lose weight during the school year (for me) and I know I shouldn’t even be worrying about that but still it feels like I should be…anyway I’m just going to make it my goal to make this school year not fail lol. I plan to make a grilled cheese sandwich for lunch today with my new whole wheat ‘white’ bread. Yay! It’ll (hopefully) actually look somewhat like an actual grilled cheese this time, hahaha. I also got greek yogurt, too. It’s pretty good, I probably should have gotten the vanilla flavor though D: it’s really..tart. lol. I tried to ‘sweeten’ it a little with some vanilla extract but it didn’t really work…damn. Oh well. If you eat it with fruit mixed in it tastes yummy :3 yep..my mom’s gonna be home any second now and then were headed out to go to this super cool record store, yay! I watched the Dorian Grey movie last night..it was..interesting lol. I donno if I’d recommend it..I want to read the book though cause I’m sure it’s a lot better than the movie. Eh, Ben Barnes was in it so I guess it wasn’t all that bad haha. I bet everyone who reads my blog thinks I’m some crazy celebrity stalker person lol..don’t worry I’m not that creepy, still pretty creepy though x)


xoxo

Emily ♥

ps: I like this song —–> 12:51 by The Strokes

change of plans…again.

August 7, 2010 at 2:41 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment
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Hello! It’s tax free weekend for those of you who don’t know so go out and by lots of stuff! lol. My mom wants us to get school stuff later..I don’t really know if I need anything though cause I have pencils+pens+crappy binder. Well, I might have to get a new binder actually..anyway yesterday I saw the Karate Kid with Jackie Chan and whoever the kid was in it lol it was pretty good. The kid was so cute ^3^ maybe if I get really good at taekwondo I can be like Jackie Chan haha no that most likely will never happen lmao. Were not going to Colorado also -_- agh I’m so tired of everyone switching up our plans! I feel kinda bad for my grandma though, she’s fighting with my uncle and she’s kinda depressed..I want to go there to keep her company and maybe try to make her feel better but she just doesn’t want anyone visiting her now. I guess it’s better to just respect what she wants but I don’t want her to be depressed..we might see her during the winter though, I don’t really know for sure. Since our Colorado plans are off my mom and I were talking about what we should do instead. I randomly suggested New York thinking she wouldn’t even consider it but she’s actually considering it..o.o yay! Since now we know what to do and what not to do there (lol) I think we would have a better time than the last time we went. Definitely no empire state building this time hahaha biggest ripoff ever lol. I want to go to the met and this cute little Japanese bookstore there. The bookstore was so awesome, they even had an adorable little bakery with Japanese desserts in it too! Yeah..so our options are pretty much go to the mountains or (possibly) NY and maybe visiting our uncle+cousins in San Diego. Yep..my family tends to change plans+make vacation plans like, the day before we go. lol. I just hope we end up doing something at least. I love traveling >3<


I really want to see that movie the other guys with Will Ferrel in it >< I’m a sucker for really stupid+funny movies lol. Dumb&Dumber is like, one of my all time favorite movies. My friend Katherine and I will watch all those movies together and be cracking up and our other friend will just be sitting there commenting on how bad the movie is hahaha. Oh well, I like my horrible sense of humor x) I’m watching a house episode now about a blogger o.o I’m scared lol. Yep..well that’s all I have to say..happy Saturday everyone!

xoxo

Emily ♥

Non vegan foods and Nanaimo bars

August 5, 2010 at 8:53 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | 2 Comments
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Yesterday for dinner I willingly had cheese.

Whole Wheat Macaroni and Feta Cheese


Whole wheat macaroni pasta with melted reduced fat feta cheese mixed with baby spinach, sprouts, and boiled mushrooms.

It was pretty good..first time having actual mac and cheese in forever haha. I liked it with all the veggies mixed in. A couple days ago I tried So Delicious coconut water mango sorbet. It was really yummy, I recommend it ^3^ I had my first counseling ‘session’ today. It went pretty well, she pretty much just asked a bunch of questions about myself. She recommended that I take calcium supplements and start seeing a nutritionist. I told her about when and why my ed started..all that stuff. Oh! And last night I had to make a French+Canadian dish for my a project and I made Nanaimo bars!

(Please ignore how ugly they look. It was my first time making them.)


Surprisingly, they actually tasted pretty good. Thank god it’s an online class and my teacher doesn’t have to actually taste them, though! If they had turned out as bad as they look (lol) I would have been screwed. I do have to send her these pictures of them though…damn.

I want to try to make a pumpkin sorbet..I looked at the ingredients on the mango sorbet I had last night and it’s pretty much just mango puree and coconut water, with some fruit juices and gums, etc. Sounds like it’d be pretty easy to make.

Yesterday’s Lunch:


Tofu and veggie sandwich on toasted sesame Ezekiel bread. Some boiled baby carrots and mushrooms on the side.

Thanks to a trip to fresh market yesterday, I’m fully stocked on my veggies and now have tofu. I also got a crapload of fruits, too. And cashews. Of course. I had forgotten to get almond milk though so I had to get it from Harris Teeter (ick). I wanted to get more zevia too but hey only had the Jone’s diet soda -_- I got the vanilla bean flavor..I hope it’s good, haha. Today for lunch I had a grilled cheese sandwich!! Another first. I used a little smart balance on it, I got it last night for the Nanaimo bars cause the recipe called for butter and it was the ‘healthiest’ one and just today found out it’s not even actually butter, and vegan! lol.Well, I have to go actually turn in some French assignments before I run out of time (tomorrow’s the last day! Yikes!!) so have a great Thursday everyone!

xoxo

Emily ♥

Hospitals SUCK.

August 3, 2010 at 5:48 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment
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It’s true. I just got back from the hospital not long ago due to some self harm and ed related issues..ugh. I was so close to having to go into an inpatient program, thank god I didn’t. Honestly, I think something like that would make things worse for me rather than better. I do have to start some counseling a couple times a week..I’m okay with it though. I felt so bad in the hospital the whole time, like I wasn’t really sick and was just taking up room. There were so many people in there who had gotten so badly injured or had gotten so sick and here I was making myself sick and hurt. I feel like such a stupid person -_- anyway, breakfast in the hospital was a nightmare. They gave me scrambled eggs with potatoes and cheese on top. Then on the side a cinnamon bun. Yuck. My mom made me eat it all >< so many fear foods…it wasn’t even that good feeling to “conquer” them cause I didn’t even want to eat them in the first place..jeez and I thought that hospitals would have healthy foods at least. Well, aside from my horrible Monday night and this morning, I’m back home now. Yep, that’s all.

xoxo

Emily

Happy August!

August 2, 2010 at 3:17 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | 2 Comments
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It’s August! Woooo…anyway yesterday I saw the movie Salt with my friend Vivian. It was actually pretty good. Very action-y, lol. I just did some français stuff too. It’s my last week of the class! I’m so happy haha. Pretty much I did a years worth of French in 2 months :3 it sounds like a lot but it was actually a lot easier I thought..online classes are awesome. lol. I haven’t seen some friend of mine that I used to be super closed to in a reaaaaaally long time and I’ve been missing them a lot recently..we got to different schools now though (high school. Of course I had to be the only one to go to a different school..bleh) so it’s sorta like..awkward now if that makes sense. I have seen them a couple times this year though and we still have fun together so I guess it’s okay.

I like his hair >3< and his cool nose tape thing. lol. I have a purple mask that I got a couple months ago sort of like that..it’s like a medical mask and it’s dark purple and has safety pins on it. It looks quite bad ass, hahaha.

My mom still hates me -_- I hate getting into fights with her. She gets mad over every little thing I do and then goes on and on about it for like, weeks. Ma mère est crazy. lol. Hmm…well yesterday I got high fructose corn syrup free raisin bran from Whole Food’s. Yay! I though raisin bran was supposed to be a ‘healthy’ cereal though so I have no idea why it even has hfc syrup in it…I also got a pack of orange zevia. I used to avoid diet soda’s all the time cause of all the gross processed crap in them but zevia isn’t really that bad. I can pronounce all the ingredients (lol) so I think it’s fine. Oh..and I’ve just been putting random pics of things in my posts cause I can’t upload pics from my camera onto the home computer and it makes the posts look a little more exciting, haha. I also tend to forget to take pics of my food too until I finish eating it…^^’


I’m eating cashews right now..they’re yummy :3 it’s kind of sad haha I’ll tell myself one day that I’m gonna take a break from eating them (I eat soooo many cashews) but then the next day I’ll like suffer from cashew withdrawal symptoms lmao. My dad’s planning to go on a trip to Poland and Italy..which means he’s gonna leave my step mom to take care of 2 toddlers and my step brother by herself =_= he told me he “needs a break”. From what? Online poker? He’s a strange person sometimes…

xoxo

Emily ♥

coconut+chocolate=yum

July 31, 2010 at 8:47 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | 4 Comments
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Today I had my first non vegan baked good! Major challenge. It was really yummy and I tried as hard to not feel guilty or even think about it afterwards (except for how good it was). My dad took us to this random festival thing and my bro and I both got strawberry+pina colada smoothies. It was sooo good. Then we walked around some more and found a german dessert stand! So my bro and dad got chocolate covered pretzels and I got a coconut chocolate macaroon :3 I even tried a bite of my dads pretzel, I’m so happy. It helped to see lots of people walking around the festival eating like, funnel cakes completely covered with powdered sugar so I felt normal like all of them, hehe. This morning my mom got so mad at my bro and me..I still don’t even know why, so I’m sort of scared of what she’s gonna be like when she gets home..sometimes I think she just gets really stressed out and takes it out on us..which is actually pretty much what most likely happens each time she yells at us for 3+ hours.

Anyway, today we went to the museum of natural science with my dad. It was pretty cool, they have pieces of meteorites and dinosaur bones. So yeah..museum+festival was my day. Last night we went to see Prince of Persia with our friend Ian. It was kind of terrible lol but we had fun. Ian got a whole pound of pretzels at weaver street and a root beer that looked like beer so yeah..it looked interesting hahaha. Jake Gyllenhaal was quite attractive in it, I thought. He looked like Jared Leto, therefore he’s attractive. I loved him in Donnie Darko :3 one of my favorite movies. Except Frank was much cooler than Donnie.

Jared Leto ♥ I would recommend Requiem for a Dream..but it’s sorta kinda extremely depressing..so unless you like really sad movies don’t watch it haha. It’s kind of disturbing too..actually really disturbing lol. Watch Fight Club though. He’s in it except has blond hair x) it looks weird but whatever he’s still in it haha.

xoxo

Emily ♥


Bleh

July 30, 2010 at 11:33 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | 2 Comments
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I feel like I shouldn’t even tell my mom anything anymore..for the past few days my stomach has been crap and I’ve just been feeling crummy in general so I told her about it and she went on this whole rant about how I’m so abnormal and I’m ruining the family and apparently me feeling bad is me taking out all my negativity on the family..I feel really bad now and that by telling her that I don’t feel well I’m doing something wrong so I should keep everything to myself, which I’m probably gonna do. I hate it when she gets mad at me and yells at me over the stupidest things..and it’s not even my fault but I think it is. I don’t feel like eating either..psh I doubt she’d even care if I went a month without food. But of course if my brother even misses a meal she gets worried and tries to shove food down his throat. It makes me feel like I’m so unimportant and that I don’t even deserve to be cared about..these past few days I’ve been totally letting ed take control because I feel so sick and honestly I don’t even care anymore. Well, this was a negative post. Hmm..happy thing! We’re actually going to Colorado after all. It turns out that my other uncle is going too and had already gotten his tickets and was like “no, we got our tickets. We’re going” to my grandma and she was just like “okay” so yeah lol. Two weeks now! *_*


xoxo

Emily

Things that make me happy…

July 30, 2010 at 2:18 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment
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