I Hate My Laptop…

June 24, 2010 at 5:41 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | 2 Comments
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…very much. It hasn’t been connecting to the internet since last night so I haven’t been able to do my French -_- and I’m stuck writing this on the family computer. Wonderful.

Onto good stuff…the dvd of ghost whisperer season 1 I ordered off netflix came today! I love this series so much *o* right after I post this I’m gonna watch it most likely :3 ghosts+supernatural stuff fascinate me…

Yesterday we went out to dinner at elmo’s diner. It’s a local diner and the food there’s pretty good. I got a grilled hummus sandwich with a fruit cup on the side and my brothers cinnamon apples cause he didn’t like them (weirdo). After that we went to weaver street market! It reminds me of whole foods a lot…like the foods and atmosphere ^3^ I got a box of ezekiel golden flax granola, lucy’s vegan oatmeal cookies (very yummy), hazelnut bumble bar (also very yummy, much better than original in my opinion), and an original bumble bar. Then we went home and I made some jasmine green tea with a couple chunks of watermelon on the side x) I love watermelon…especially in the summer. Oh! And I also had a couple swedish fish, too! “stolen” from my brother >:) we went to borders afterwards too and he got them there.

Sorry about having no pictures ^_^; I was thinking of taking some of the food I got at weaver street and was like “nah…I’m to lazy…” so yeah. That was a bad excuse lol.

Agh I really need my laptop to work now. Damn you technology!!

Stuff that’s been on my mind lately…

I find that whenever I’m in a situation that involves food+friend+me it always makes me feel embarrassed and ashamed of my eating habits. I feel like I should be able to eat carefree like them but I just can’t and it makes me feel horrible. I know I’m not fat and shouldn’t have to worry with every spoonful of food I put into my mouth whether it’ll make my stomach pudgier or my arms fatter. I’ve gone back to restricting and eating my completely ridiculous “dieting” diet just because I gained x pounds this week (coughcoughI’mprettysurethatmostofitwaswaterweightcoughcough) but what does that mean to ed? If it’s a higher number, no matter what its from, its making you bigger! And now to make it even better, after practically eating at all today, I just weighed myself and I’m the fucking same weight as this morning. I feel so crappy right now ><

Back on topic now…I remember at this years end of year party my friends and I had and everyone was having such a good time and just care freely eating and all I could do was compare myself to other people and try to erase ideas of “just one chip won’t hurt” from my mind. I feel so stupid. And just yesterday my mom told me that we’re going to Colorado this summer and all that came to my mind was “I need to lose weight! Everyone will think I’m such a fatty if I’m not thin when we go!” Sheesh, if that’s not pathetic, I don’t know what is…

And even after writing all of this I still want to lose weight.

I’m hopeless =_=



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  1. ohh..you are SOOO not hopeless. Have you ever read any of my posts? I am constantly wanting to lose weight and thinking I need to. It’s just what having an ED does to you. The important part is that we dont listen and move on..

    EERGH i hate computers too sometimes. I wish technology was perfect but its not :-/

    Dana xo

    • Thank you for saying this 🙂 today I told myself over and over how stupid I was being and that I just need to EAT and not listen to stupid ed >< it's hard though, but with determination we can try to shove ed in the back of our minds and try out hardest to just be happy and normal ^3^
      and my laptops still broken -_-…I’ve had to use my brothers laptop for the past couple of days and it’s even slower than our family computer, which is saying a lot xD

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